the fine things

 Dozing off, feeling tired after a hard day’s play

Kids are just full of imagination, aren’t they? Ian often asks how lau-lau(refering to ghost) looks like.  He asks – whether this thing has a hole or holes  in ‘his’ head or body, if the color of ‘his’ teeth is black, and so forth. 

He knows that that sounds can come from somewhere/something.  He used to run and hide everytime he hears the sound of a vacuum cleaner or washing machine, now he helps with both vacuum cleaning and clearing up dirty laundry:)  He MUST be the one to stuff the machine full and switch it on! He still is not comfortable not knowing where certain ’noises’ or sounds are coming from tho.  

I just completed reading some articles about kids, milestones, parenting, motherhood and the like  on  babycenter.com.  This site is probably my most frequently visited site.  Being a member even before Ian was born, I find this site totally informative!Reading some of the articles was like reading ‘reminders’  of some sort.  A particular one on clothings or kids’ wardrobe was like yelling at me,  “Hey! you really should  ’upgrade’ Ian’s wardrobe already”! And… how true!  It’s actually been awhile since I last did shopping for him … I mean buy those trousers, shirts etc. It’s a norm (a wise idea too) for parents to buy outfits a size or two bigger, I ‘adopted’ this idea too.

So when he said, “Mom, I don’t want to use this pyjamas anymore bah. The pants is short! My feet can come out lah, see?!”   Yes, that’s it  - it’s time to do some shopping for this little guy! Ooops he now has ‘preference’, I should re-word the “for him” to “with him” ? 

A little bit about time…I miss that that lil’  chat with Rozy about “time”.  Rozy, if you’re reading this, we should hang out again soon!  I’ve rehearsed this countless times, that once off from work, I’d give him the “all Ian time” . This is definitely easier said than done! What normally happens is “once I reach home, I’d be all so tired that all I want to do is sit, relax or do my own stuff!”  Our little guy would  normally come around, “Mom, you cannot sit there and do work, you sit here and play with me”.  or “Don’t touch that computer, you can-not blog!”  (LOL  kids these days… growing up in totally different environment).  But still, nothing compares to playing and spending time with him, no matter how brief the time is spent.  What also comes with this (3+) age are so many amazing questions, the  endless why, what, where and when    

“Mom, what’s this?

He talks confidently though tend to be  lil bit shy – once at ease he can get quite chatty. He’s growing and learning fast;  manipulates sounds which I always find quite amusing. Though he has shown interest in reading, writing and books too, still, a big bulk of his time is spent on playing and playing with toys.    

What I would love for him to adapt is a reading habit.  I know this ‘skill’ comes from the parents. That the more we read books or read books to him, the more practice he has with language. I don’t religiously follow my own expectation of reading nightly to him. When I finally do, I’d be the one to fall asleep first! When this happens, there would definitely be a slap on my face, “Mom, you can-not close your eyes yet! Can-not! Can-not close! Tell me story about this one first. Op-en your eyes! ” 

Today, Ian is exactly 3 years and 11 months!

looking at ian splish-splashing  and imitating the other kids’ style of swimming got me thinking again about getting him enrolled in swimming classes. so far 2 swimming schools have told me that enrolment is open to kids 7years and older only! 

anyway, last sunday was ian’s first ‘feel’ of a swimming pool.  i know …should have brought him much earlier  –  so much of procrastinations, well actually it was more of the ‘what ifs’ thing, in other words,  the letting go.  the issue of acknowledging that he’s now a big boy and that I should ‘let him go’  a bit.   the feeling of being able to keep my son safe ‘always’ , all the time!!   

  kids make friends fast 

 ”Mother & Son” 

 Picture grabbed from www.dailypainters.com

 …beautiful…something worth pondering over, something worth keeping:)

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. 

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask ‘Why me?’ and get their answer when a little voice says, ‘Because I love you best.’
Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade…It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother…    

4 YEARS OF AGE – My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE – My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE – Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE – Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE – That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE – Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE – Before we decide, let’s get Mom’ s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE – Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE – Wish I could talk it over with Mom.  

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair . The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul … It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows! 

~~~Oo~0OlO0~oO~~~

19 more days to Ian’s 3rd birthday! Exactly! How time flies. I still remember the sweet smell of the newborn-Ian! Now, I smell sweat, stains of chocolate, sweets and other stuff on his shirt. He is now a big boy and often reminds us that “he is no longer a baby”.  

 Wednesday

Mom was first diagnosed suffering from Rheumatoid Athritis back in 2000. She has been undergoing treatment,as an outpatient at the general hospital. Initially, it was not as serious, however, as time passed by, her situation became a little more serious as in finding it difficult to walk unassisted. The general hospital has actually recommended surgery but at that time immediate decision was not reached due to some personal factors. 

Mom started consulting  a private doctor during the last year when expected improvement seemed unreachable.  The private clinic did something which the general hospital never did.  In laymen’s term, it’s simply ‘extraction of fuid’ by way of sucking it out via injection.  Eventho’ this temporarily relieved Mom’s condition, it was great as she could walk.  She said ’she feels light’.

When I saw her after undergoing the ‘extraction of fluid’, her appearance has changed from gloomy to brighter. The most noticeable difference was that she could walk. According to research and medical doctors that were consulted so far, there’s no cure for rheumatoid arthritis. Those who have this must know how it happened, what the implications are and how to take better care of themselves so that the condition doesn’t worsened. Of course, there are ways to minimize the ‘situation’ and this is via surgery or an injection with a second line drug called Arava. (The conduct of both also depends on several things)

Mom will turn 71 this December. The disease has caused slight deformity of her hands and legs. Her fingers recognizably have bumps, called nodules. Mom always complains of pain in her wrists and other joints – she can only make little movements unassisted. Things that most people take for granted for example sleeping, bathing, brushing teeth, getting dressed, and making meals have all become somewhat challenging. She has long given up on her favorite pastime which is gardening. She has accepted the fact that she could no longer indulged in this pastime of hers. As a substitute, she keeps flower arrangements visible in the guest area. “I want to have lots of flowers, flower baskets etc placed in this area”, she said. This alone tells how much she has enjoyed gardening and how much she has missed the gardening activities!

Mom finds it difficult to sleep during the night as certain parts of her body she said become sore and stiff – this happens when she stays on one side for too long. Even getting up from bed becomes difficult; she has to carefully stand slowly since her knees, like all the other joints, are particularly stiff in the morning. My brother Ivon, would get meals ready for her. She no longer does domestic work. She can only concentrate on taking her medication and struggling to take care of herself. Even using the toilet was challenging, so a special arrangement was made so that Mom could used a portable toilet which was placed next to her bed. This helps as she does not have to strain her joints.

Mom said even getting dressed is ‘challenging”. She prefers using clothing that does not require much buttoning. I can see why – it’s difficult for the fingers to work on the buttons.

 ~~~Oo~0OlO0~oO~~~

12 August 2007@ 24 months

I bumped into a friend who thought I’d never become a mother and that motherhood was not likely fo me! ?!?!  She asked this question, “Eeiii,! Are you doing OK? (while looking up & down!). Apparently, she has heard I now have a son.

This friend actually believed conceiving only happens in the 20s and that the moment you reach 35, your life is over! Not particularly wanting to be engaged in a deeper conversation, I simply replied, “good”, and asked to be escused for something urgent. It was a very brief ‘hi & bye’ thing.  Well, the truth is, I was also somewhat offended by the way she looked at me! 

Don’t we all have this type of friends who are just interested in knowing only a particular part of our life?  Dead interested and asked seciic questions like, “Why aren’t you marreid yet?” or “you got married so long already, why no kids yet ah?” or “OMG you gained soo much weight” ( while checking you out up & down!). IF a friend of the same wavelength asked ”how’s motherhood?”, I would probably drag that friend to Coffee Bean or something to have a long chat over a cup of Café Latte.

Answering that question is not as easy to answer as some might think it to be. There’s no short answer to it! There are days of frustration and of feeling helplessness, but I would no trade those moments in for anything in the world! One of the things I still struggle with is scheduling. Even if i make a schedule, it doesnt seem to work. It’s a real challenge planning on being somewhere on time. (Now that we have decided not take in any more live-in maid! ) Don’t ask me how many times have I been late for work!

I plan my own outings as in going to the hair salon, for facial treatment, etc around naptime, so spontaneity is almost out of the question. When I shop these days, I always tend to shop for two. There were times upon returning home only did I realized that my shopping bag was full of Ian’s stuff, instead of mine! The wonderful part is knowing it still puts a smile on my face; that I stil lfind it amusing!.  I’d say to Ian “You know what happened to Mommy today? Bla bla bla….”  In return, he awards me with his cute chuckle and repeats the words he picks out of my blabberings!!  

Motherhood has taught me about loving life and appreciating the things I do and what surrounds me. I marvel at how Ian has changed the way I look at things. He has made me become the best I can.

Motherhood has taught me to live more in the present moment;to stop worrying so much about when the laundry could be done, when the floors could be vacuumed and mopped, or simply what housework gets done and what doesn’t! 

Motherhood has made me realize how self-centered we human beings can be. Being a mother, I have to (I think I should be saying ”I want to;) set aside my own wants and needs at times, and focus totally on Ian. 

Yes, I still work. But I must admit I’m ‘preofessionally’ derailed by motherhood.  Daniel and I decided to arrange to send Ian to a child care center, but there were times (many, many times) while at work that I think about my son’s smell!  I have to use every ounce of my discipline to keep myself from running home or sneaking to the child care center just to make sure that my son is OK!!  I love motherhood.  Now that Ian is talking, I have never had so much fun talking to someone (sorry Dad!). What he says somtimes is a mystery, he has his own language of communication but that’s what makes it fun!  

I now have another friend for life :)

 Monday

Came across this piece while browsing on the net and forwarded to friends. This is really funny – I really laughed! In case you have missed it, here’s the story…

This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won’t crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynaecologist later in the week. Early onemorning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.

I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already are around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. Ithrew the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

I am NEVER going back to that doctor, EVER!